7 Ways to Make The First Move On Bumble
Let’s be real, online dating is no walk in the park. We start with a perfectly curated bio, then move on to swiping either left or right for potential suitors at a rapid rate, sometimes giving the phone a shake to go back because perhaps we’ve been too hasty during our swipe left quest... then BOOM, we get a match! Then for whatever reason we stumble, lose our confidence and get way too caught up in the “what the hell do I say to start the conversation” minefield. At this point it may seem much easier to say hi to a guy when you are out, girl gang in toe, but the truth is Bumble has given us the power to make the first move, if and when we want. Surely that should be applauded and give you some sort of confidence in your approach.
You see, power is a wonderful thing when used correctly, and with Bumble we have the power! So here are my top 7 ways to make the first move on Bumble (without looking desperate AF).
1. Keep it chill
Your first message should of course say hey (waving emoji’s are great for this) and then use his name, it’s always a great idea to follow up with a question so they can reply and find common ground with you. Their bio is the perfect place to find a starting point for your first message, it could be a photo of a trip they’ve been on lately or the work they do. Use this information to give some street cred to your first message, it could be something like “Oh I see you like to travel, that photo is Greece was epic, I was there last year, what islands did you visit?”
Just remember to keep it short and snappy, he doesn’t need to know who you went with on your Greece trip, what you ate and the story about losing your shoes in Mykonos (I mean unless he asks).
2. Make em laugh
Who doesn’t love a LOL, it can be kind of hard as a starting point to be funny right of the mark but some of us just have that natural skill, so use it to your advantage. Being witty also comes under this umbrella, so don’t be afraid to fire off some humour his way to get him engaged for your first message. A funny, light heartened opening line will always be a winner.
3. Hand out the compliments like candy
Who doesn’t like a compliment? A great icebreaker is to stroke their ego a little bit by giving them a compliment (that you mean). Stay away from the generic “you have nice eyes” and think outside the box a little, if there is a pet in the profile picture that is a great starting point. “Ohhh is that your dog? It has the cutest face!” or “It looks like you love the outdoors, I like that in a man” – BOOM, if he doesn’t reply to one of those two messages then he is dead inside.
4. GIF that man
They say a picture says a thousand words, so a GIF would say 3000 (at least) if you’re not confident with #2 - Make Em Laugh then this opener could be perfect for you because all the hard work has been done for you. GIFs are funny, choose one from a favourite movie or your favourite singer. Go old school, think 90’s nostalgia, a quote from the TV show friends, or something Chuck Norris related (all guys love Chuck Norris). The power of a funny image is real girls, so use it to your advantage!
5. Be Random
I like random questions, my go-to question if I wanted to talk to someone in a bar was soooo do you like your potatoes mashed, jacket or baked? Weird right? But it always worked, even if there reply was “that is the weirdest question I’ve ever been asked.” Being different in this day and age is a huge advantage, so don’t be afraid to get your weird on first message in. If he doesn’t see the humour in that then he’s probably not for you anyway!
6. Let’s go so cheesy it’s adorable
Dad jokes are a great icebreaker, I love hearing them and I love saying them. It’s a great icebreaker that says “I am easy going and I don’t take myself too seriously”, which is in the early starts of messaging online is a good thing. I think timing with this one will also help to get you the love this sort of message deserves, think 3pm when the day is nearly over at work and you are beginning to zone out, I’m sure a little dad joke will increase his mood during the 3pm struggle and give you the best chance of getting a response that is as equally engaging.
7. Ask his advice on something
So you’ve had a look at his profile and you are waiting to send that first important message, asking advice is a great way to start the conversation.
1. It makes them feel important
2. It shows you are actually interested in what they do/are doing in their profile
3. Guys love to feel like you need them
So even if you aren’t really into Heli-skiing or wineries (like on their bio) you could ask about where is the best snow this season or a pinot they recommend for a friend’s birthday present who loves red wine. It’s a great way to open the lines of communication without having to ask them to many questions straight up.
OK, so now you’ve got the goods, the Bumble make the first move starter pack is all here for you, now all you have to do is go forth and conquer. Remember ladies, be your confident bad ass self, if he doesn’t write back then that’s his loss (or maybe he dropped his phone and cracked his screen or accidentally deleted your match while he was saving a baby from a burning house…. Maybe….). Whatever the reason, it doesn’t really matter because you can only be yourself right? If he doesn’t vibe with your dad joke or your randomness, was he the guy for you? Probably not. Play it cool, respond when you can (leave it a couple of hours) and keep it light and humorous for the first few messages, images are also a great way to connect so don’t be afraid to send a picture to back up a private joke you have between the two of you or the plate of potatoes you have ordered for lunch (because carbs are good.)
Don’t be afraid to make the first move, good things come when you are out of your comfort zone.
xx, Lisa Clark