The Perfect Dating Profile Doctors: Your Girlfriends!
As a single woman living on the opposite side of the country from the rest of her family, my friends have become more than that: They’re the family I chose. They’re my confidants and my guidance counselors. We lean on each other for everything: work advice, delicate money questions, political ranting and raving, boutique fitness class recommendations … And of course, dating advice.
Beyond their obligatory role as “a shoulder to cry on,” your female friends are the not-so-secret weapon you can use to distill your best self into your dating profile. Being smart, successful, and wonderfully empathetic people, each of your girlfriends’ careers and professions probably give them special knowledge and skills they can use to help you be a better dater (and hopefully a better partner, too).
The PR Marketing Maven: Your Master of Spin
Your friend who works in PR and marketing should be your first call when you’re creating your profile. She built her career on making brands look good and getting those brands in front of the right eyeballs - ask her to do the same for you. She’ll be able to identify the brag-worthy qualities that make you incredibly dateable, then help you “pitch” them with charm and wit in your bio. She’ll also be great at weighing in on the photos that best represent “your brand,” a.k.a. your hobbies, social life, and how freakin’ cute you are. (Also, there’s scientific proof having a friend do this part is a good idea.)
Creating a dating profile can be a bit nerve-racking if you’re not used to distilling your whole self into a few short sentences and exactly six photographs. Sometimes when you’re too close to a project (a.k.a. inside your own head), the need for that kind of brevity can present a challenge. Remember, the way we see ourselves is often different from how our friends see us - we tend to focus on our flaws, but our friends emphasize our more desirable attributes. Your PR partner will help you put your best, most positive foot forward.
The Editor: Your Ghost Writer
Few texts induce more anxiety and excitement in my single friends than, “Hey, what are you up to this weekend?”
What are you up to this weekend? Are you, “Nothing much, just hanging out with friends!” this weekend? Are you, “Hoping to see you, that’s what ;)” this weekend? Maybe you’re more “three hours of radio silence followed by an entire paragraph detailing all your fictitious plans to make you seem busy” this weekend. Who knows!
You know who knows? Your friend who writes for a living. Aside from providing the outside perspective we could all use when trying to decode the subtext of every text/emoji/period of silence, she’s going to be particularly skilled at helping you respond to a message or initiate a conversation.
She’ll help you show off your most charming turns of phrase and show you where you can use one word instead of three. She’ll calm your anxiety and drink wine with you right up until the moment you enthusiastically and confidently press “send.”
The Psychiatrist/Counselor: Your Behavioral Expert
Why did he introduce you as his “friend?” Why does he only ask you to hang out at the last minute? What does it mean when he tries to hold your hand on a first date? Why do you feel slightly giddy and nauseous every time his name pops up on your phone?
We all wish, from time to time, we could peek inside the brains of our romantic paramours. (Not to mention gain a little insight as to why we do the things we do.) We’re not saying you should be hitting up your psychiatrist or counselor friend for constant free therapy; however, running a situation or two past a friend who analyzes emotions for a living could be a good idea. That professional feedback could give you a fresh perspective and help you understand your potential guy (and yourself!) a little better.
The Doctor: Your “I Can’t Ask Anyone Else” Call
Dating is messy. Intimacy is … Intimate. Sure, we all have the internet at our fingertips, but sometimes you need your straightforward medical advice with a side of commiseration, laughter, and empathy. Having a doctor bestie on call is ideal, but every woman should make sure she has someone in her life - a friend, family member, or health insurance-provided physician - she can call when something comes up. (Or goes down, or in, or out).
The Lawyer: Your Negotiation Resource
Are you what some people might call a “people pleaser?” We often think standing up for ourselves will put a new relationship at risk. In fact, by backing down we’re just setting ourselves up to harbor resentment down the line and creating an imbalanced dynamic in the relationship.
This is when your friend with a law degree comes in handy. Someone who specializes in helping others get what they want (and deserve!) can be invaluable in guiding you while you establish agency in your budding relationship. Figure out what you want the end goal to be and work backwards from there, together.
With your smart, successful girl gang behind you, you’re well on your way to becoming your most romantically successful self. Get out there, badass bee!
Taylor Davies for The Bumble Hive