Quick Fixes for First Date Anxiety
You’ve made the first move and connected with your potential honey on Bumble. It's first date time!
Maybe you find yourself equal parts excited and anxious. What if you say something wrong? What if you spill your drink? What if you trip? You might worry about these things until you almost talk yourself out of the date completely.
If you're biting your nails before a date, don't worry. We're going to Bruce Lee your central nervous system and get rid of that anxiety.
“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.”
What Bruce means is when self-sabotaging thought patterns begin to take over, try to be flexible like water. (We promise it's OK to let go a little.)
Exhale all the air out of your lungs, then breathe in slowly. Repeat until you feel calm.
Here’s another quick fix for anxiety: What are you grateful for? Write down your answers for a spike in positive hormones.
Still feeling stuck? You got this! Your power is literally at your fingertips. Body language shapes your feelings from the inside out. You can undo the feedback loops of stress and anxious thinking patterns by moving your body.
We know it feels a little weird, but stand up and raise your arms above you in a V shape. A different version is to unfold your arms, lift your chin, stick out your chest, widen your stance, and put your hands on your hips.
We call these hero poses. 120 seconds of either of these poses actually raises your testosterone levels, which makes you feel more confident and strong. It also lowers cortisol (stress hormones), which calms anxiety. Practice these poses when you’re feeling stressed.
Kicking anxiety’s ass is less about resistance and more about letting go.
If you’re still feeling nervous when you’re actually on your first date and (understandably) don't want to do a hero pose tableside, see whether staying silent helps. Your first date can be a discovery of how you feel with this person instead of worrying about what they think of you. Prioritize yourself instead of trying to impress them.
Mystery is sexy. Silence can be a bold move. (And it'll encourage them to talk about themselves! It's a great way to learn about the other person.)
Congrats, badass bee - you're ready to have an anxiety-free first date!
Natalie Geld for The Bumble Hive