A Strong Case For Staying In this New Year's Eve, from Ripped Tights to Surge Charges
When it comes to New Year's Eve, I’ve done it all from the epic club bangers in Miami (Lady Gaga! Tiesto!) to staying home alone sick with the flu. I’ve been on boats, I’ve been on cross-country flights, and I’ve even spent the last hours of December 31st at a Walmart with the parents.
This year, I’m staying in for New Year’s Eve and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. For me, long gone are the days of paying through the nose for a party that is average at best. Your bank account will thank you. Mine already does!
Who wants to start the year off with blisters from your sparkly shoes you only bust out one night a year, anyways? Not I! No ma’am. Ripped tights are another classic NYE causality you won’t have to deal with when you opt to stay in. Woohoo!
And only a seasoned NYE’er like me knows the truth about the food situation. It seems like every NYE bash promises food but actually means a few chips here and some pretzels over there. This is especially true when tickets cost upwards of $100. How come? It’s an almost universal truth that the more expensive the ticket, the less food at the party. Sad!
The crowds. The scenes. The way-too-drunk people spilling their drinks all over you. You spending over an hour in the bathroom trying to get un-sticky from the mess. Need I go on? Nope, not this year!
Even if it is tradition to be completely hungover on the first day of the new year, don’t worry! You can still ensure the very same outcome from the comfort of your very own home. Just add some sugar to your bubbly cocktail of choice and you’ll be on your way to hangover city, population [insert # of people who live in your house].
No coordinating rides or regretting that surge-priced Uber you took home. Why? Because you never left in the first place! But seriously, what New Year’s Day is complete without someone posting their bill from their over-priced ride home last night? Instead of you being the victim here, you’ll be refreshed and rested enough to start their GoFundMe page for them to help the cause. Just Kidding. Don’t do that.
If you’re really looking to make it the best night of the year, celebrate New Years Eve with your one true love: your dog. No dog? No problem! Insist friends drop off their furry friends to really get the party started.
When you find yourself scrolling ‘gram, seeing all your friends out and about, rejoice knowing you made the best decision of 2018 so far. Fight back and post a pic of you in your PJs, all tucked in for the night and watch the likes come rolling in.
You heard it here first! Cancel those plans and lock the doors for the NYE of a lifetime. Swiping the night away doesn't sound like a bad idea at all.
Molly Borman for The BeeHive