An Open Letter to Dean Wells, From Bumble

Dear Dean,

Last Friday we at Bumble announced a new company policy that bans body shaming on our app. Body shaming means forcing your opinion of what constitutes a ‘good body’ onto others. It can include fat-shaming, thin-shaming, health shaming, or anything in between.

We read that you slammed these rules as a violation of your freedom of speech — in fact, you claimed that the right to “say, think, and do whatever we want is being eroded.”

We reject the idea that it’s acceptable to say someone is too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, or whatever your complaint might be.

You’re not entitled to make unsolicited comments to someone about their body just because it doesn’t meet your standards. You don’t have the right to make someone feel undesirable because you don’t find them attractive. But we do have the right to ban you from our platform if you do.

You said “it’s just words” and that “you should be able to say whatever the hell you want.” Here’s something that you might not realise: From the earliest of ages, people across the gender spectrum, but particularly women, are taught to feel embarrassed and ashamed of their bodies. The pressure to look a certain way starts young, and unsolicited comments about weight, height, body hair, or skin can cause damage that lasts a lifetime. Body shaming can do harm to the mental and physical health of the people on the receiving end.

Women are more likely to feel physically judged while they’re dating. So next time you meet someone new — whether that’s at a bar or on Bumble — and you don’t find them attractive, move on. Keep your personal opinions about their body to yourself. Not sure if a comment about someone’s body might be welcome? Just find something else to talk about.

At Bumble our mission is to end misogyny around the world, and it starts with calling out bad behaviour like body shaming. Let’s focus on creating a kinder and more accepting internet for everyone.