As we move into the second year of the COVID pandemic, you might feel like you finally have a handle on things. You may have cautiously met up with friends or family, tried outdoor seating options at bars or restaurants, and figured out how you can feel safe and still engage with the outside world.

A lot of this is possible because you know that you and your bubble—your family or close, trusted friends—are on the same page when it comes to observing safety precautions. However, when you throw a new person into the mix, you introduce uncertainty and potential risks.

The health risks around hanging out with any new romantic interest IRL are very real. COVID is spread via droplets that are released when an infected person talks, coughs, or even just breathes. The CDC classifies being around someone for more than 15 minutes as being in “close contact,” which means any in-person date is an exposure risk. In addition to that, interacting without masks—to talk, kiss, or do anything else—puts you at greater risk, as does having your date take place indoors, where COVID droplets can circulate, making transmission much more likely.

Of course, you can still date, form a meaningful relationship, and even find love during the pandemic. You just have to put safety first, which is where the COVID conversation comes in. If you ask the right questions, you’ll be able to ascertain how seriously your potential date is taking coronavirus and its related protocols. Infectious diseases expert Dr. Ravina Kullar recommends learning your match’s “attitudes towards social distancing [and] wearing masks” before you meet up. Their answers will help you make a much more informed choice about whether to go on an in-person date. This sort of conversation might seem intimidating, but we’re here to help! Watch Dr. Kullar break down the basics of dating during COVID in the video below.

How to Figure Out What Kind of Dating You’re Comfortable with Right Now

Today, a date can still mean an IRL meet-up somewhere outdoors and distanced, but it can also mean a video chat, a phone call, or a virtual activity that lets you get to know someone without any health risk. And daters are exploring all of their options. Want proof? Folks who have adopted Bumble's Virtual Date Badge have shown interest in masked-up dates, meeting up but staying socially distanced from one another, and dating virtually.

It can be difficult to choose the right option that will let you feel connected while also minimizing your risk—especially now, when the prospect of a new match is more exhilarating than ever. “Meeting someone who you want to actively go on a date with can stir up a whirlwind of exciting emotions and feelings,” says Dr. Carolina Pataky, a sex therapist and founder of Love Discovery Institute. “You may want to throw all your inhibitions out the window. That’s why you need to plan and prepare, beforehand.”

So before you start to plan any date, says Pataky, “Sit with yourself, be honest and decide what your actual comfort level is with exposure. Weigh some options.” Think about how you communicate and connect. Do you struggle to read cues when you’re communicating virtually, so the risk of meeting in person with precautions seems worthwhile? Or will you have an easier time opening up with someone when you can relax in your own home, without worrying about COVID?

Dr. Laurie Mintz, psychologist and author of Becoming Cliterate, suggests that in situations where you’re trying to figure out your boundaries, it helps to “talk to a friend that you trust about it, examine your values, examine your comfort level, examine your feelings of safety, and make the best decision possible for yourself.” There’s no one-size-fits-all answer; you’ll only discover what’s right for you by thinking through your options.

Once you’ve made your choice, “give yourself a few days to sit with your planned decision to see how you feel about it beyond the heat of the moment,” says sex educator Dr. Sadie Allison. “Make sure to really listen to your body—do you feel comfortable with what you're doing? Or is this a decision based on anxiety or a sense of urgency?”

If you decide to meet up, plan the safest date possible. Sticking with virtual dating? Explore the different platforms that exist for communicating online, including Bumble’s Video Chat and Voice Call feature, to see what feels best for you. And if you decide you only want to date digitally, don’t worry that it will lead to fewer matches—Bumble users who added the Virtual Date Badge on their profile experienced over a 20% increase in the average number of monthly matches versus those who didn’t.

Even with all that in mind, it can feel tempting to throw caution to the wind, spontaneously meet up with someone at a bar, and pretend things are “normal.” But this can often be a recipe for panic and shame later. However, if you do make a call you later regret, don’t beat yourself up. “This is a very unprecedented time,” says Pataky. “You’re going to make mistakes. No one is doing everything right. First, forgive yourself. And to ease some of that tension, go get yourself tested.”

Need to Talk COVID Safety With a Date? Here’s How

If you’ve decided that you understand the risks, know your own boundaries, and are ready to plan an in-person date, the next step is to see how your match is feeling. Though there’s no need to make your very first Video Chat or Voice Call all about the pandemic, if you feel a connection and have a second virtual date, Dr. Kullar suggests shifting the conversation to COVID safety and your match’s thoughts and behaviors.

Get a general sense of how your match has been handling the pandemic. You can ask something like, “what are your feelings on masks?” or “how have you been staying safe?” Try to approach this conversation with curiosity rather than judgement; not everyone’s precautions are going to be compatible! It can also help to start by sharing your own feelings about the pandemic and how you’ve been staying healthy, which will encourage your match to share their own.

Before an IRL date, you’ll want to ask (and answer!) some health screening questions. These should include whether they have been in contact with someone who has COVID-19 in the last several days; if they’ve experienced shortness of breath, a cough, or difficulty breathing; if they’ve had a fever or chills; or if they’ve had a loss of taste or smell. If they say yes to any of those, that’s a good indication you should cancel your scheduled hookup and wait until they get the all-clear from a doctor.

You can also get a feel for their daily environment. Dr. Paul Gittens, a sexual medicine specialist and director of Centers for Sexual Medicine, recommends asking potential dates about their work safety conditions and their housing situation (and whether their roommates are following COVID guidelines). It’s worth finding out whether they live in a neighborhood where there’s recently been a spike in infections. Their answers will help you decide whether you’re comfortable meeting in person.

Interestingly, test results aren’t a hugely important part of the COVID safety conversation. “Testing results and the last time they were tested is not a critical question, given that the circumstances around getting tested are very context-dependent,” says Dr. Mercedes Carnethon, Vice Chair of the Department of Preventive Medicine at Northwestern University. Your results only show your status at the moment you took the test—so if you tested negative three days ago but have been out and about since, it may not mean much. There’s also the risk of false negatives, especially if you’ve just been infected and are pre-symptomatic.

Once you’ve had the COVID conversation, you should feel free to ask follow up questions, or say that you’re not comfortable going on an IRL date. Just remember to do so kindly!

Some Tips on COVID First-Date Etiquette

Be sure to let your date know your non-negotiables. Even if you feel like you know your new match, you’ve really only just met, so it’s worthwhile to be very clear about your boundaries and limits— like, you won’t go indoors or to their house. “You need to have that safety plan in place for yourself,” says Pataky. “Make sure you know what feels comfortable and works best for you and your potential risk factors.”

If you’re both on the same page, you can move on to planning an IRL meetup. When planning, pick the safest setting you can—ideally, outdoors, in a place where you can maintain some social distance and keep your masks on. Avoid sharing cars until you get to know each other better. The same goes for eating and drinking, or any other activity where your mask is off for most of the date. “Once you really get to know each other's practices,” says Dr. Kullar, “maybe that's date five, date six, you can go to a restaurant, sit outside, grab a glass of wine, take off that mask and then maybe get to know somebody a little bit better.” Waiting so long just to have a drink together might sound like a complete change from how you used to date, and it is. But when it comes to COVID safety, a little wait is worth it.